The “cohabitation” mentioned here is a fixed gender relationship of non-marriage. In the past, non-marital cohabitation was considered illegal and immoral; in some “civilized” societies in the West, cohabitation was seen as a fashionable lifestyle for modern men and women. According to statistics, half of the brides who finally went to the red carpet to hold a wedding in the 1990s lived with their boyfriends. In recent years, many urban women in China have adopted this lifestyle. What do they think about it? Is their choice guaranteed for themselves? Xiao Chen (30 years old, senior staff of securities company; cohabitation time: 1 year; reason for cohabitation: can be kept every day.) I am a big alumnus, I met at a ballet dance and soon fell in love. After graduation, we both stayed in Shenzhen. In order to stay together every day, we simply rented a cabin and lived together. However, one year later, one day I went back to the hut and found that he left a letter and left. He said that he really loves me, but if a man has no money, why should he face his beloved woman? He also said that Shenzhen is not suitable for him, he wants to go to the north to seek the foundation of his career development. I am sad, I am crying, I am waiting, but he has been listening for nothing. As time passed, my heart gradually calmed down. In fact, we have never promised anything between us. We have each other and have been happy together, this is enough. Fang Fang (27 years old, primary school teacher; cohabitation time: 3 years; cohabitation reason: in order to have a companion.) From the countryside into the Teachers College, and then to a city primary school work, that year I just turned 18 years old. Most of my colleagues come from the city, and my age is comparable to me. What envied me was not that they were close to home, nor that they were beautifully dressed, but every night, there was a big boy who picked them up to go shopping, watch movies, and shop. At the weekend, they are paired in pairs. In the eyes of my colleagues, I seem to be a “Cinderella” that no one loves. So when he appeared next to me, I quickly accepted him and fell in love with him. I naturally lived in his house. Since then, I have never felt that I am a “Cinderella” that no one wants. Later, I rented a room with him near the school to live together. Every day, I cook a meal and wait for him to come back to eat. I am not even likely to quit now, just wait for all the conditions to mature and get married. Li Ying (30 years old, staff of government agencies; cohabitation time: 6 years; Reason for cohabitation: in order to run in. Before I got married, I used to live with my lover for 6 years. Fortunately, cohabitation has brought us into marriage. A common life makes us completely exposed to ourselves, and everything in between is unreserved and inevitably displayed in front of the other party. I love to eat light, he loves to eat salty, so it is not salty or light. I want to go to bed early, he wants to sleep late, so it is not too late to be unified. I want to go shopping, he wants to watch a movie, so he reconciles to see the movie after visiting the mall … … all these may not be worth mentioning in love, but in life is a contradictory fuse. In the six years of life, we are constantly adapting and changing. After countless iterations, we didn’t feel bored and reached a high degree of consistency in all aspects, so we got married. Yan Ping (27 years old, university teacher; cohabitation time: 2 years; cohabitation reasons: impulsive.) I met with my boyfriend when chatting online. The online exchange in the past six months has made us understand a lot of each other. He once jokingly suggested saving two people’s telephone and Internet fees and renting a house together. I didn’t take it seriously. Until one day, he took me to an empty house and said to me: “This will be our home, I will give you a key.” This is certainly not a marriage proposal. He always emphasizes that he is a responsible adult and insists that marriage is an unpredictable gamble. I stood in the middle of the house, and some of the emotions of women in the bones were awakened at once, as if they were to participate in the “family play” game that they loved since childhood. Since then, we have started a happy cohabitation life, welcoming each morning together, and answering the difficult questions that life has given us. In fact, if you ask me if I will marry him in the future, I will answer honestly. I have not thought about it carefully. Lili (28 years old, company employee; cohabitation time: 2 years; cohabitation reason: in the name of love.) fell in love for a year, on a summer afternoon, he held me gently and said: “I am alone Lived in loneliness …… “Looking into his eyes, I did not hesitate to move into his humble cottage with a donkey. In the name of love, everything is so natural. I quickly adapted to cohabitation with him.” Life, work every day, get off work, buy food and cook, wash dishes and clean up the house. These days are very dull but very real, very trivial but very romantic, at least let me not regret my choice, and there is still a little touch. All Friends who know us and know our stories feel that we live so happily. Just when we are also intoxicated with this joy, the problem begins to appear. After living together for a month, that is, I and him have such cohabitation. After the full understanding and experience, the first “war” broke out. The cause is very simple: I got his call after coming home from work, he said that he would eat with several buddies, but it was almost until 12 o’clock in the evening. I heard the sound of the door lock twisting, and then it was my crying, his apology, the two sides shook hands and talked. But gradually I and he disputed more and more times for such things, The romance and happiness of the first time seemed to be very difficult. After calming again and again, I gradually discovered the cause of the contradiction. Cohabitation is cohabitation after all, because no name is not recognized by relatives and friends, such feelings are easy for both sides to fall into paralysis. The situation, I and he have let each other have no freedom, no space for privacy. So we separated after half a year. But separation does not mean breaking up. In the following days, we all replied to the usual track, after work. Going home, I have time to talk on the phone, and I will date again on weekends. Although there is less time together, we seem to have recovered the original concern, the miss, the love. Gao Chang (31 years old, actor) Cohabitation time: 7 years; cohabitation reason: for freedom.) I love freedom and will not be attached to any man. I like the lifestyle of cohabitation, of course I don’t object to getting married to get married. Marriage, for most people It is necessary to build a family, one of which belongs to one’s own world, where it is really desirable to have children, but I will I have my own special circumstances and my own life pursuit. I can’t build a fixed family with a man. But as a woman, I also need love, need a partner, need support and rely on. I can wander alone. I am more willing to live with the opposite sex, but I can never be a good wife and a good mother, and I can never give up the art that I love for the family. Therefore, cohabitation is the best family lifestyle for people like me. Reason for cohabitation: for freedom. I love freedom and will not be attached to any man. I really like the lifestyle of cohabitation. Of course, I don’t object to getting married and getting married. Marriage is necessary for most people. Establishing a family, one of which belongs to one’s own world, where children are born, is indeed very desirable. But I can’t. I have my own special circumstances and my own life pursuit. I can’t build a fixed family with a man. But as a woman, I also need love, need a partner, need support and rely on. I can wander alone, and I am more willing to live with the opposite sex, but I can never be a good wife and a good mother, and I can never give up the art I love for my family. Therefore, cohabitation is the best family lifestyle for people like me.